What happens when you feel shame? Have you ever stopped to explore what is going on? I know for me SHAME stands for Scarring Hearts And Missing Experiences. I start to get lost in the fear and the self-doubt of what I am expected to do. I create the story in my head telling me that I am not on the right path and I am not going to be able to create what I want.
But even more intense I start to question my value and what others see in me. I know many times it came through in the ideas around what I thought my spouse thought about me. Shame happened so many times from what I thought external sources thought of me.
I am working on an acronym for how to defend against shame, but through the workings of Brene Brown, I know that to step out of my shame shadow I have to choose to be vulnerable. I also have to let people think and feel what they want as it is a definition of them much more than an explanation of me. I choose to listen to the members of my tribe that I trust because they know my inner and outer workings and the nature of my values and the way I desire to live in this world.
But for now, too I will say that to step into vulnerability you need to Seek Help And Manage Expectations. Please feel free to write to me and let me know how Shame shows up and what you are doing to combat. I would love to hear from you!
In our world today so often we are living lives centered around FEAR. At one point in our civilization this served us very well with the whole flight or fight response. However most of us are not living in near death moments. There are those that face this everyday and this post is not about them, this is for the rest of us truly living in peace yet creating panic and anxiety with just our thoughts.
You see living in FEAR is one of the most powerful ways to kill your power and slaughter your passion. The word FEAR literally causes Families to become Exhausted And Running. What are we running from? We are literally running from the JOY in our lives. We become so tired that the only pain that we see in the world is what is happening to us in that immediate moment. We become victims to out own created circumstances. We spend time waisting moments wondering how dumb we were to chose the path we are on.
If we take a moment to stop! Stop running from some invisible monster chasing us with moments that are unfair and undeserved, we can actually catch that monster. FEAR is something that we can't control. Remember being a child and afraid of the dark? How did we learn to not see shadows as monsters? We stopped be scared and started looking at them for what they were. And all of a sudden that shadow that scared you was nothing more than the teddy bear that comforted you.
So when FEAR has your family so tired and running, your parenting is horrible, your marriage is a mess and you can't stand that job any more. Stop and face the FEAR! The key to combating FEAR is the same as a child and you can remember it by Finding Energy Around Relationships. You can now look at the people in your lives that looked like monsters and yes sometimes our children can be like monsters, but now you can look at them and instead of feeling like you are failing as a parent, take time to build a relationship with them. Break the work life balance myth and just live in the Joy of the people around you that love you unconditionally!
I am glad to get that off my chest... Story of failures and success and failures and success and failures and success... I think that you get it! Don't ever give up on creating the passion and potential that lives inside of you a tangible reality to rock your world.